The road trip is a godsend. It’s a solver of conflicts and career problems, a great excuse for a good old frolic and a well-known cure for heartbreak and just about any other complaint of the human condition, apart, perhaps, from toothache. I need very little persuasion to grab my sunglasses, leap into the car and hit the accelerator. And for me, there are few regions that offer such evocative road-trip opportunities as the Lowveld.
From sexy mountain passes and palm-fringed highways to dark, reptilian tunnels that go straight through mountains, the Lowveld is a road adventure waiting to happen to anyone. The first trails of the Lowveld were blazed by animals, but thanks to the ingenuity of humans and technology, the point of a road trip is no longer a simple matter of getting from A to B. It’s the journey, not the destination. It’s about white-knuckle S-bends, breathtaking bridges, slinky tunnels and hair-raising hairpin bends. It’s about drinking gas-powered espresso at scenic viewpoints, taking silly snapshots under funny signs, kissing on the metaphorical kerb, driving at 60 km/h and arriving late.
Like life itself, there are many ways to do a road trip. Some people go for sports cars and house music, others for old Kombis with stickers saying things like ‘Don’t come knockin’ if it’s rockin’. I have a friend who won’t leave home without a bootful of CDs, a cooler box, knee blankets, a well-stocked picnic basket and a host of trendy coffee accessories. Another simply takes a bottle of water and a map. But whether you’re into cruising around en famille in a minibus or just taking your 4x4 for a spin, there’s a Lowveld road to suit your style.
‘The Lowveld can be described as a sea of adventure breaking on the cliffs of romance’, wrote author TV Bulpin with a flourish in his famous book, Lowveld Trails. And for those in search of sheer romance, the 97km-long Magoebaskloof Pass from the eccentric little village of Haenertsburg to Tzaneen is one of the most romantic. The road cuts its way from Highveld to Lowveld in a series of corkscrew bends and perilously winding roads, and every bend greets you with a different and delicious surprise - a silver lake, a signpost to a waterfall, a roadside stall, a wild mountain vista.
You’ll definitely need both hands on the wheel to negotiate the Magoebaskloof Pass, so it’s best not to vry (make out) while driving, but there are lots of shaded and moody little stopping spots and places to ooh and aah. You can even pull off into the Woodbush forest and see the tallest bluegum tree in the country, which was planted in 1905 - it’s a dizzying 82 metres high and makes you feel like Alice in Wonderland when you look up.
Those inspired by Thelma and Louise will love the legend of Robber’s Pass - a remote mountain pass that winds its way through the mountains between Lydenburg and Pilgrim’s Rest. In the gold-rush days, it was a transport route, and Tommy Dennyson, the barber of Pilgrim’s Rest, once held up a coach in high style - guns blazing, expression grim. Except it was on its way to the gold mines, so he only made off with a meagre 129 pounds. He headed back to Pilgrim’s Rest for a modest spending spree but was recognised by the coach driver and arrested. After five years in Pretoria Central, he returned, and opened a business called The Highwayman’s Garage.
Robber’s Pass is a splendid opportunity to put your driving skills to a serious test and observe the foolishness of men. Imagine robbing a stagecoach on its way to the mines? Or, as my friend said, if they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put them all there?
One of my all-time favourites is Schoemanskloof Pass. Slip off the N4 near Machadodorp and head for Nelspruit via this quirky and scenic pass. At the first glimpse of the Bambi Motel at the top of the pass - a symbol to my generation of passion, wasted youth and heady adventure - my heart skips a beat and my pulse races.
As you swing down Schoemanskloof, the grasslands and pine forests give way to valley and bush, the air changes from crisp to sultry. The Crocodile River cuts its course down the mountains and farmlands, plunges over the Montrose Falls and joins the Elands River, its principal tributary. And the road unwinds from a tight corkscrew into a mountainside meander, then into a double-lane highway where the broad, fertile Crocodile River valley opens like a movie . . .
Yeehaa! Ever since Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road, people have been leaping into their cars and heading out across the wide-open spaces in the name of freedom, love and adventure. There’s little to beat the feeling of barrelling down a road with the music blaring, a hand on your thigh and wild beauty all about. And for sheer, unadulterated, top-down scenery, the Panorama Route is arguably the flagship of Lowveld roads. This certainly isn’t just another roadside attraction. The route includes Abel Erasmus Pass, the Strijdom Tunnel and the Blyde River Canyon. Take three days and a sexy navigator and slowly explore Bourke’s Luck, God’s Window, Graskop, the Three Rondavels, Mariepskop, the tortuous course of the Blyde River.
Pulsing vein of the Panorama Route is the Abel Erasmus Pass, which is named after a 19th century pioneer called, would you believe, Abel Erasmus? And descends 800 metres in its 24-km length, the highlight of which is the extraordinary feat of engineering in the 133,5 metre-long Strijdom Tunnel. It adds a certain drama to the expression ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. You’ll know what I mean as you emerge from darkness into bright sunlight nearly 1 000 metres above the Olifants River valley. From here, the road drops sharply down rusty cliffs and rocks covered in surreal green lichen. Birdwatchers should start looking skywards perchance to spot the rare taita falcon which hangs out in these parts. This should never be attempted by the driver. Rather pull over to check out the views along with the curio sellers or the guys who sell rocks, of all things.
If it’s a double-lane highway kinda feeling you’re after, don those floral shirts and hit the N1 straight to Komatipoort, bound for the border and hip-swaying Maputo, where cold beer, cool beat, spicy prawns, and groovy people await. The painted towers at the roadside near Malelane are your signal to turn the music up full volume and cruise along this gorgeous gateway, enjoying the Komati River as it cuts its ancient course through the Lebombo Mountains. And if you’re into serious solitude and adventure, follow the footsteps of the gold panners and fortune seekers, taking the glorious Saddleback Pass that leads from Barberton to Bolembu in Swaziland.
Scenic, yes, dramatic, yes, historic, yes. The Long Tom Pass from Sabie to Lydenburg, or vice versa, has all the right ingredients for a good road trip. It’s 57 kilometres long and reaches 2 149 m above sea level at its summit. It’s steeped in legend, puts your driving skills to serious test and is prone to sudden mists and shafts of golden light that cut through the clouds like a knife through butter. In the 1800s, this was the wagon route from Lydenburg to the Lowveld and on to Lourenço Marques, and was feared as the graveyard for transport vehicles. Wagons had to negotiate four steep consecutive summits known as the Devil’s Knuckles, and at a spot along the pass called The Staircase you can still see wagon tracks, like claw marks, scoured in the rocks.
The pass is named after the Anglo-Boer War 15 cm gun used by the Boers and nicknamed Long Tom by the British. It was here that the British attacked and the Boers withdrew up the pass, firing back at the British all the way. The Boers eventually tumbled 13 ox-wagons over the Devil’s Knuckles, but managed to safely drag their cumbersome Long Tom along with them.
If you’re descending the Long Tom, take a slug of sparkling, another mouthful of biltong and spare a thought for the Voortrekkers. To get down these slopes, they had to remove the wheels of their wagons, tie the axels to branches and slide them across hostile vegetation. Day after day, wagon after wagon, slither after skid, all the way down, only to arrive and end up dying of malaria. The lesson being: a good road trip need not be epic in length nor tragic in outcome.
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Feature courtesy of By The Way, a Mafube Publishing magazine.